Group Dynamics

QA251 QUESTION: I have a deep longing to be in my spiritual home at the Center in Phoenicia. I have worked on my negativities, my misconceptions, my demands, my images, in my sessions and groups for almost a year. Through my work, I feel many of these negativities have fallen by the wayside. Yet, it doesn’t seem to be happening. There have been so many delays, not only in the physical construction of the building, but also in the getting together all of the people involved in the project for a meeting to work on these problems.

I don’t seem to be able to come up with a definitive answer as to why we are having these difficulties. After many delays, a date has been set for a group meeting the end of June. I am troubled and unhappy about these happenings. It gives me much pain to experience this nonflow. I would be deeply grateful if you would point out to me what in my psyche must be looked at and worked on to dissolve the block which prevents the flow, as well as give guidance to the group we hope to have in June, to help us focus in on where and how we collude in our negativities.

ANSWER: There is a tight knot of negativities that is a combination of all concerned. This knot has not yet been worked out. There was considerable work done with some of you on an individual basis, but how these strands interact and create a group lower self, still at work, has not yet been totally seen, let alone dissolved.

Although there is much goodwill and genuine higher self motives in all of you concerning this venture, other aspects, as mentioned, still play a role. There is fear of involvement and of closeness; suspicion, and therefore withholding; there is worry that surrender to the greater cause through living in such a community, will thwart your individuality. I do not only speak of you personally. Some of these aspects apply more to one, some more to others.

There is financial holding on due to lack of trust, and second thoughts about the venture; there is fear of confrontation because of concern that by doing so rejection and hostility will ensue – but also because the very aspects to be confronted in others may exist also in the self, perhaps in milder form. So collusion exists on those grounds.

There are also power plays going on on a subliminal level between individuals and factions. The builders hold power over those for whom they build, and unconsciously use it because here they can be the authority they resent in their own leaders (Helpers, etcetera). On the other hand, those toward whom this subtle, unconscious power is being displayed react unconsciously and blindly, which is never constructive.

Even if it is somewhat consciously perceived, the reaction is still a blind one, and therefore it does not help eliminate the problem. The reaction is blind due to two basic reasons. One, the hesitancy and fear existing in some of you welcomes delay, but you feel guilty about it and then you make a lot out of the withholding those in power manifest.

It is as though they say, “You see, it is not me who hesitates, I am innocent, you are doing it.” And the second reason is that if similar inner power drives exist that the personality may feel difficult to act out, there is then a weakness in pointing it out and catching it in the other person in such a way that it is wholesome and not disruptive in the relationship.

All these, and some more attitudes, should be worked through together, for this is a common venture. No matter how much each individual concerned works on himself or herself, if the interaction and mutual effects and counter effect are not being recognized, the knot cannot be dislodged.

In the meantime, you have much to learn from this situation, but not necessarily in the way you now believe. Yes, all the aspects you have worked on surely are valid and you should examine yourself to what degree they still exist in you. To exactly that degree you will be weak and blind and unable to assert the truth, to perceive the truth, to confront negativities, or even to fully see them. You will be victimized by other’s negativity.

Some people may fight against a feeling of helplessness and weakness, by hostile over aggressiveness, which is, of course, no help at all. But whether one reacts with fearful, anxious hostility and blame, or with overt weakness and submission and collusion, in either way, a negative mutuality is being maintained.

Some of you have to concentrate more on initiating negativity in this interaction, others more on the negative responses you make – yet always also both. I suggest and advise urgently to have a long meeting in which you work together as a group, exposing every negativity in everyone, and then that you look together how you react to the other’s negativity.

Do not get lost in futile questions of “who started it.” It never matters, because there must be negativity lodged in you anyway, if you can only respond negatively to others. In that way you will be able to dissolve the knot. Everyone should involve himself and herself deeply in this common beautiful venture of establishing a beautiful spiritual form, where now the negative knot obscures and entangles all of you. If you do not withhold from this correcting work, but give your very best to it, the venture will be blessed for all of you.

My beloved friends, Christ blessings flow into your very center. His presence is with you in all your undertakings. His angels follow you wherever you go.

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