QA182 QUESTION: Many times I have a patient who has an unconscious energy pull, and I think they try to take energy from me. So how can I defend myself, because I feel very tired?
ANSWER: Well, this is a very good and important question, generally speaking, because there are, of course, quite a number of people in this world – as you all know this – who suck the energy of others because they do not produce their own. They deplete the other person, because they do not generate their own energies.
Now, there is, of course, a way to protect yourself against this. The first is that you are aware of this process and that you name this process toward yourself. The awareness is tremendously important. Lack of awareness makes you a victim. Awareness creates a shield that is of such a fine web of energy that it does not allow negative energy to be taken out.
It is like a seed that can only bring forth the good energies out of you and into you, but that shields off the sucking power from outside. You must have your own knowledge, your own awareness that this is happening, “this is happening with such and such a person in this moment.”
Now, the awareness of this can only come to the degree you are aware of yourself, to the degree you realize your own negativities and can do exactly the same with yourself. As you can say, “Such and such a person is depleting me now,” so you can now say, “I am now producing something very negative in me, a negative energy, that goes out into the world that either depletes and sucks from others or that sends into the universe something negative through my own attitude. I am doing this now.”
This kind of objective self-observation and self-acceptance in which you do not lose sight of who you really are, in which you do not hate yourself but simply meet yourself objectively, will give you the power to know what others are doing to you – energy-wise and consciousness-wise. This includes, for example, manipulating you and playing games with you – to which you fall prey because you do not know it, and you do not know it because you do not choose to see when you are doing it to others. This is the process.
But this filter can and must be erected if you are not to be depleted. If you have this awareness and have this filter that surrounds your own energy field, then you can nourish without being depleted; you can sustain without being victimized.
QUESTION: I’m upset only with those people who really have been willing to put me in that condition like in the job I am in now. I feel very tired. I go out; I breathe a little and come back, and I feel like a new person again.
ANSWER: You see, this is when a person has not relinquished life, but he has not found his own energy centers and therefore he takes from others. Yet, he wants to live but he cannot live on his own. He must take it from others.
QUESTION: I understand it so well.
ANSWER: Now you see, you are particularly prone to this, because you, in a different way, of course, have a tendency to do a similar thing on a different level. And as long as you do not see this, you will be a victim to such people.
QUESTION: In this connection, I’d like to ask you whether the problems that I have with one of my children has something to do with this kind of interaction. I react more negatively with her than to the other children, and I hardly ever can maintain for any length of time a positive interchange with her. Can you talk about it?
ANSWER: Yes. Yes, there is something similar, but I will discuss this problem more on the level of consciousness and the psychological and emotional exchange that takes place here, because that is the cause of the energy. If we would only talk about it on the level of energy, we would just talk about the phenomenon which is the effect and not the cause.
Now, the cause is that something in this relationship – which, of course, is of karmic origin, but be that as it may – has jarred you. She wants something from you, and the more she wants it, the less you’re willing to give it. She wants love and attention and approval. And there is a forcing current in her that you are particularly vulnerable to and respond to with a negative “I do not want to. I will not give it to you.” This is what your soul substance says in effect.
The more you say it, the more her soul substance demands it and pushes you and coerces you into it. She says inwardly, “Love me; love me; you must love me; you must love me. You’re wrong not to love me.” And you feel this as a powerful force that you become obstinate about.
Now, your best course would be, first of all, not to force it away from yourself and immediately say, “Now I must not do this; I must love her.” This will not work. But much rather that you become intensely observant and aware of this interchange, and accept her as well as your own interaction, really see it in action.
The moment you see it, observe it in this way, a strange thing is going to happen. The negative power is going to lessen. The mutual force of push and resistance on your part, push and resistance, and pull and resistance, and push and pull and resistance, will weaken through the very act of observing what takes place.
Your denial of it creates the barrier of not being aware of it. The denial of yourself resisting it and of her demanding, of not being really aware, this causes a separation which you then feel as an unpleasant emotional, vague thing you cannot really name. You see, my friends, the ability to name what is going on in you and in the interaction is of such immense importance – the naming.
For in the proper naming lies the realistic self-acceptance, the seeing-what-is. If you stop pushing yourself, you will be able to withstand the pushing of the other person. By seeing this interaction, you will stop the forcing current – your own upon yourself and against her – and hers will be automatically inactivated, because it will not find a hard resistance. And therefore it will defuse itself.
This will bring on a relaxation in the energy currents that are exchanged between the two of you. And this is then the ground on which love can be built – voluntary love, your choice to love – but not before the relaxation has occurred.