QA175 QUESTION: Why am I such a slob about getting anything done, especially when I make commitments? It seems as though there’s a lot of energy available for what my heart desires when I love something. But when it becomes a duty or an obligation, then there’s no energy.
ANSWER: Actually you already know why – it is because your ingrained rebellion against authority is so strong. You still need to see that you rebel so much that you harm yourself.
You have to see this over and over and over again until you become even more convinced and the whole thing becomes so clear that you see the rebellion is total nonsense because you only destroy your own chances and there is no authority. The whole thing is a figment of your imagination. But you’re still geared in that.
Each time you discover the passive resistance in this respect, you can ask yourself, “Where is my anger against authority?” This is the way the anger comes up. The moment you can connect the passivity with the anger against authority, you will have made a very great step toward removing this self-destructive device.